I think they just look amazing. I can't wait for the rest! Our photographer was also super friendly and fun to work with.
Go check them out: http://www.melissarobotti.com/blog/?p=6415
Showing posts with label wedding. Show all posts
Showing posts with label wedding. Show all posts
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Monday, March 14, 2011
We got married!
We're married!!!
I don't really even know what to say. I can gush and get all gooey, but really, this blog isn't hard core MY PERSONAL LIFE AND FEELINGS, but I am so super happy.
JD was so handsome. I looked like a pretty pretty princess. Everyone thought our priest was pretty much the best ever, and that he gave the best homily ever. A lot of people liked the excerpt from Goodridge. People loved the party and the food (I think), and the first dance was just fantastic. For me at least. Everyone else just got to stare at us stare at each other :-)
I know I wanted a smaller wedding, but actually, I did have a lot of fun. and while people do say something goes wrong at every wedding, the only things that went "wrong" at ours were very small-- the flowers were lovely but not at all what I ordered, and the bar at the venue decided that cherry heering and maraschino liquor would work totally the same in a cocktail, which... they are both cherry, sure, but have VERY different flavor profiles, and different colors, which meant that their attempt at our cocktail was too sweet and not green. But as things go? No big deal! No one noticed, and no one cared! (well, JD and I cared about the cocktail. But whatever, people seemed to enjoy chartreuse and tonics instead)
And the ceremony itself was so, so, so perfect. So perfect. I cried, but I was able to stop and keep it under control and say my vows without desperate sobbing.
So yeah. I'm married!!! Which is awesome! And tonight, we're back at home, both still exhausted from our whirlwind of days and love and excitement and friends (seeing everyone from so many stages of life together was... intense. So, so, cool).
I've got nothing political or ideological here to say, just-- I'm in love, and I'm thrilled, and I have the best husband in the world :-)
Saturday, February 26, 2011
On changing my name when I get married.
Say my name, say my name...
Or don't.
Because what is is now, is not what it'll be in two weeks.
I wasn't planning to change my name when JD and i went to the town hall to file for our marriage license, but I wasn't planning to keep it, either. I'd thought a medium amount about the concept of changing my name, and had started multiple blog posts dissecting the many good and bad reasons to change my name, and the many good and bad reasons to keep my name-- because there are a lot of both, for each-- but I hadn't actually come to a decision yet, I wanted my decision to be well thought out, in line with all my beliefs and desires, and consistent with all my other political and personal opinions.
In the end? It turns out in my town, when you register for marriage, each spouse has to put down what hir post-marriage name will be on the form.
And I did not know that until I was there, filling out the form.
And I didn't have time to think.
And I ended up putting down JD's last name.
Would I have done so if I had thought about it? I don't know. Would I have done it if we hadn't argued about something small the night before? Would I have done so if it had been a different time of day, and I was more awake? Again, I really don't know.
So I made the decision, and I made it on the moment instead of in a reasoned manner.
Honestly? I think it's good that I didn't consider it too much. Whatever I had decided, I'd have questioned it-- because there are good and bad points to both decisions, and I could see them both, and i find it a very close decision. I know Jessica Valenti, in her (not very well done) book about double binds goes off on women who change their name... but why is it so much worse than heels or makeup or short skits, all of which I (and Valenti!) do too? I am a feminist, my politics are feminist, but I live in a world that is not fully feminist, and I want to have the same last name as my husband-- and JD, I knew,was and is not about to change his name.
So, as it turns out, having the same last name is more important to me than keeping my name.
So, in two weeks time I'll be Amanda Y instead of Amanda X. And you know what? I'll still be me.
Or don't.
Because what is is now, is not what it'll be in two weeks.
I wasn't planning to change my name when JD and i went to the town hall to file for our marriage license, but I wasn't planning to keep it, either. I'd thought a medium amount about the concept of changing my name, and had started multiple blog posts dissecting the many good and bad reasons to change my name, and the many good and bad reasons to keep my name-- because there are a lot of both, for each-- but I hadn't actually come to a decision yet, I wanted my decision to be well thought out, in line with all my beliefs and desires, and consistent with all my other political and personal opinions.
In the end? It turns out in my town, when you register for marriage, each spouse has to put down what hir post-marriage name will be on the form.
And I did not know that until I was there, filling out the form.
And I didn't have time to think.
And I ended up putting down JD's last name.
Would I have done so if I had thought about it? I don't know. Would I have done it if we hadn't argued about something small the night before? Would I have done so if it had been a different time of day, and I was more awake? Again, I really don't know.
So I made the decision, and I made it on the moment instead of in a reasoned manner.
Honestly? I think it's good that I didn't consider it too much. Whatever I had decided, I'd have questioned it-- because there are good and bad points to both decisions, and I could see them both, and i find it a very close decision. I know Jessica Valenti, in her (not very well done) book about double binds goes off on women who change their name... but why is it so much worse than heels or makeup or short skits, all of which I (and Valenti!) do too? I am a feminist, my politics are feminist, but I live in a world that is not fully feminist, and I want to have the same last name as my husband-- and JD, I knew,was and is not about to change his name.
So, as it turns out, having the same last name is more important to me than keeping my name.
So, in two weeks time I'll be Amanda Y instead of Amanda X. And you know what? I'll still be me.
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Our invitations are here!
Guess who's going to be doing a lot of envelope addressing in the next few days....
It's getting more and more real :-) :-)
I can't wait to be married to JD!
Sunday, September 12, 2010
On tradition
Tradition! Tradition!
When you are planning a wedding people really like to talk about tradition. A lot. And at length.
Tradition and I are on shaky grounds right now. See, I like tradition in some aspects. Having fillet mignon for breakfast Christmas morning directly after opening presents, with some nice music in the background? That's a tradition I like. It's something I've done every Christmas I've spent at my parents' house, and it's significant to me because it's tied up with my childhood memories. It's a continuation and reminder of my childhood in many ways. I also love some of the tradition you get in a sorority-- the outfits we'd wear to initiation, the ritual you know every other chapter also follows, and has been following for decades-- that's pretty awesome, and it's a way of having continuity throughout the group, and something that will link and bind different chapters of women who have never met together.
But wedding traditions? Well... they really don't have that much significance to me, and in a lot of cases, I just plain don't like them.
Let me be clear: I think doing something, solely because it is tradition, is stupid. I think NOT doing something, solely because it is tradition, is ALSO stupid. The fact that something is or is not traditional is not what makes me like it or hate it-- but I feel a bit that when I reject things that are "traditional" as if I might be disappointing people-- yet if I do them, I'll be disappointing myself, and tainting the wedding in my mind.
It's very rough for me, as much as I like to please other people, to try to be true to myself and JD here and not just give in and having a wedding that I will hate that will make me sad. But I just can't. I can't start out marriage off with something that feels alien to me, something that makes me feel uncomfortable.
So in a lot of cases? I'm rejecting tradition. Not because it is tradition-- but because I don't like the connotations of it, or the origin of it, or even the aesthetic of it.
I will, for example, not be wearing a veil. I don't like the aesthetic of the veil, and I don't like the ideas behind it-- hiding my blushing pure face from people? Please. I want to get married with my eyes wide open, staring at JD as we affirm our love and commitment. I don't want anything to get in the way. I also don't want to be walked down the aisle by my father. This is the one I feel the most guilty about, but the connotations of it just deeply disturb me. It feels like a transfer of property-- like I belong to my father, and then am given to my husband. Like I am not making my own choice, like I am not a person with agency. The fact that it is one man, and then i am transferred to another man just bothers me, even though my father is wonderful. What I would like to do is actually borrow from another tradition. In many Jewish weddings, the groom is escorted down the aisle by his parents, and the bride is escorted down the aisle by hers. I like the symbolism and imagery of that-- both of us are leaving our family, both of us are equal, and there isn't the same connotation of woman as property, since we would both be shown to be parting from our parents. I also like that it incorproates both of my parents, because they're both absolutely wonderful people who, I think, did a great job of raising me.
I'm not parting from all tradition-- I'm planning to wear a white(ish?) dress, and I will incorporate something old, new, borrowed, and blue-- largely because incorporating something blue gives me an excuse to paint my nails a fierce blue :-) (and yes, I know the something blue is usually lingerie, but nail polish is So. Fun.) I'll admit, the connotations of a white dress-- with purity and innocence and all that-- do bother me. But here, I guess my vanity is winning out over my principles-- because I look AMAZING in my wedding dress. It also isn't technically white-- it's ivory-- which makes me feel at least a touch better.
It's just hard, in thinking about all this, to balance my principles and the expectations of others. I'm not doing traditional things for tradition's sake-- but the times when I refuse to do traditional things, it isn't simply because I'm trying to flaunt tradition.
We want our wedding to reflect us. To be purely JD and Amanda. And if we stick to pure tradition, well-- we'd just be playing roles, instead of being ourselves.
When you are planning a wedding people really like to talk about tradition. A lot. And at length.
Tradition and I are on shaky grounds right now. See, I like tradition in some aspects. Having fillet mignon for breakfast Christmas morning directly after opening presents, with some nice music in the background? That's a tradition I like. It's something I've done every Christmas I've spent at my parents' house, and it's significant to me because it's tied up with my childhood memories. It's a continuation and reminder of my childhood in many ways. I also love some of the tradition you get in a sorority-- the outfits we'd wear to initiation, the ritual you know every other chapter also follows, and has been following for decades-- that's pretty awesome, and it's a way of having continuity throughout the group, and something that will link and bind different chapters of women who have never met together.
But wedding traditions? Well... they really don't have that much significance to me, and in a lot of cases, I just plain don't like them.
Let me be clear: I think doing something, solely because it is tradition, is stupid. I think NOT doing something, solely because it is tradition, is ALSO stupid. The fact that something is or is not traditional is not what makes me like it or hate it-- but I feel a bit that when I reject things that are "traditional" as if I might be disappointing people-- yet if I do them, I'll be disappointing myself, and tainting the wedding in my mind.
It's very rough for me, as much as I like to please other people, to try to be true to myself and JD here and not just give in and having a wedding that I will hate that will make me sad. But I just can't. I can't start out marriage off with something that feels alien to me, something that makes me feel uncomfortable.
So in a lot of cases? I'm rejecting tradition. Not because it is tradition-- but because I don't like the connotations of it, or the origin of it, or even the aesthetic of it.
I will, for example, not be wearing a veil. I don't like the aesthetic of the veil, and I don't like the ideas behind it-- hiding my blushing pure face from people? Please. I want to get married with my eyes wide open, staring at JD as we affirm our love and commitment. I don't want anything to get in the way. I also don't want to be walked down the aisle by my father. This is the one I feel the most guilty about, but the connotations of it just deeply disturb me. It feels like a transfer of property-- like I belong to my father, and then am given to my husband. Like I am not making my own choice, like I am not a person with agency. The fact that it is one man, and then i am transferred to another man just bothers me, even though my father is wonderful. What I would like to do is actually borrow from another tradition. In many Jewish weddings, the groom is escorted down the aisle by his parents, and the bride is escorted down the aisle by hers. I like the symbolism and imagery of that-- both of us are leaving our family, both of us are equal, and there isn't the same connotation of woman as property, since we would both be shown to be parting from our parents. I also like that it incorproates both of my parents, because they're both absolutely wonderful people who, I think, did a great job of raising me.
I'm not parting from all tradition-- I'm planning to wear a white(ish?) dress, and I will incorporate something old, new, borrowed, and blue-- largely because incorporating something blue gives me an excuse to paint my nails a fierce blue :-) (and yes, I know the something blue is usually lingerie, but nail polish is So. Fun.) I'll admit, the connotations of a white dress-- with purity and innocence and all that-- do bother me. But here, I guess my vanity is winning out over my principles-- because I look AMAZING in my wedding dress. It also isn't technically white-- it's ivory-- which makes me feel at least a touch better.
It's just hard, in thinking about all this, to balance my principles and the expectations of others. I'm not doing traditional things for tradition's sake-- but the times when I refuse to do traditional things, it isn't simply because I'm trying to flaunt tradition.
We want our wedding to reflect us. To be purely JD and Amanda. And if we stick to pure tradition, well-- we'd just be playing roles, instead of being ourselves.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
I said "Yes" to a dress
JD and I spent the past ten days visiting his family in Oklahoma, and as part of our trip, his mother took the two of us to Dallas so that she and I could look at wedding dresses there. I had already looked some in Ohio, and had found one I liked... then looked a bit more in Oklahoma and found a few other good ones. But in Dallas...
Well, I found the perfect dress, and surprisingly enough, it doesn't have a lot of what I initially wanted. It doesn't have straps, it isn't a v-neck, it has a high waist instead of a drop waist, and it isn't the material I had in mind, or even quite as creamy colored as I wanted, being much closer to a true white.
But when I tried it on... people, I can TWIRL in this dress. I look like I stepped out of Swan Lake or something. I AM AN ETHEREAL FAIRY PRINCESS! Which is, you know, hard when you're taller than the height of the average American man. The hilarious part is that one of the dresses I tried on was everything I said I wanted coming in. It was the perfect dress that I'd built up in my head. But... it just wasn't perfect.
And the dress I'm going to wear... oh, it is.
We've now accomplished a total of one step on our giant wedding checklist, but hey! They say starting is the hardest part. And now I just have to momentum it all forward!
Well, I found the perfect dress, and surprisingly enough, it doesn't have a lot of what I initially wanted. It doesn't have straps, it isn't a v-neck, it has a high waist instead of a drop waist, and it isn't the material I had in mind, or even quite as creamy colored as I wanted, being much closer to a true white.
But when I tried it on... people, I can TWIRL in this dress. I look like I stepped out of Swan Lake or something. I AM AN ETHEREAL FAIRY PRINCESS! Which is, you know, hard when you're taller than the height of the average American man. The hilarious part is that one of the dresses I tried on was everything I said I wanted coming in. It was the perfect dress that I'd built up in my head. But... it just wasn't perfect.
And the dress I'm going to wear... oh, it is.
We've now accomplished a total of one step on our giant wedding checklist, but hey! They say starting is the hardest part. And now I just have to momentum it all forward!
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Challenge: skirts and dresses!
The challenge for this came from a site I don't actually frequent, from a blog I do read-- if you follow the links, you'll notice I'm pretty far, politically, from them. So... why am I (sort of, ok, my skirts are probably not quite as long as they'd like) taking part in their challenge? Well, it seems like a fun idea. It isn't intending to prove any point. And I like fun ideas, regardless of who comes up with them-- we should judge all ideas on their merits, instead of based on whether or not we agree with the speaker.
Also, I think it's really interesting to read about people who aren't like me-- who have different values, different beliefs, and different lives. It's one of the things that makes blogs and the interent kind of awesome, really-- especially when people who disagree can actually talk civilly about things.
Plus? I just love streotypicaly "girly" and "feminine" stuff. I'm a feminist, but I understand that that has nothing to do with whether I enjoy wearing skirts and cooking. I remember in college, one of my sorority sisters asked me one day if I ever wore anything but skirts. But here in Boston... well, it's just so much easier to wear jeans every day! But I'm not going to. One week. We'll see if it sticks.
Also? The shoes aren't pictured because I've been barefoot most of the day. Being sick will do that!
The beer is Abita Turbodog. I figure, if I'm showing off my wardrobe, I might as well show off what I drink, too.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Bridesmaids
Holy yikes, guys, I'm getting married in just over a year, and I've gotta pick out some bridesmaids and, I'm assuming, ask them sometime soon.
So! How do you pick a bridesmaid? And how do you ask them, when you don't really have a set date, just a month we're hoping for. I have girls in mind, but... how do you deal with the fact that some of your close friends don't have money? and some are flakes? and some might be living in Israel during the wedding? and there are other friends who might be offended that you're not asking them, because if you're asking X, and she's such a flake/slut/mess/jerk/you'veknownherforlikeayearandwe'vebeenfriendsforeveromg why aren't you asking meeeeee, omg omg, hater!
Gah. I mean, I'm hoping most of my friends are a little more mature than that. But um. I don't know! I've only been a bridesmaid once, and that was for a family wedding! And while my friends are pretty much all smart, funny, caring women.... well, we're all still human. And some of them might get hurt if they aren't asked-- and others might get annoyed with the cost and obligation if they are asked, and still do it anyway out of duty.
I also don't like the fact that picking bridesmaids means I'm going to be categorizing my friends and essentially saying that some are closer to me than others. Part of it is the whole fear of rejection thing, and the idea that my friends will say "What? You think we're that close?". And part of it is just the transient nature of friendships-- the people I'm picking now are not all the ones I would have picked 2, or 4 years ago-- while I've managed to stay in touch deeecentllly with the ones form college and highschool, I do wonder if I will manage to keep in touch with them. I'm really awful at staying in contact, and I don't want anyone to feel like "why did I do this? Who is this bride chick?" in 20 years.
I know this isn't a big deal, really, in the grand scheme of things. But it's my wedding, damn it, and if I want to over-analyze things I will.
(also, I'd honestly be happy without bridesmaids, but we're having a relatively stereotypical wedding-- I don't want to be drowned in the tears of the guilt of our mothers. My parents will be sad enough when i finally break it to them that I don't like the idea of being "given away", and confused when they figure out we want part of Goodridge read.)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)