So! How do you pick a bridesmaid? And how do you ask them, when you don't really have a set date, just a month we're hoping for. I have girls in mind, but... how do you deal with the fact that some of your close friends don't have money? and some are flakes? and some might be living in Israel during the wedding? and there are other friends who might be offended that you're not asking them, because if you're asking X, and she's such a flake/slut/mess/jerk/you'veknownherforlikeayearandwe'vebeenfriendsforeveromg why aren't you asking meeeeee, omg omg, hater!
Gah. I mean, I'm hoping most of my friends are a little more mature than that. But um. I don't know! I've only been a bridesmaid once, and that was for a family wedding! And while my friends are pretty much all smart, funny, caring women.... well, we're all still human. And some of them might get hurt if they aren't asked-- and others might get annoyed with the cost and obligation if they are asked, and still do it anyway out of duty.
I also don't like the fact that picking bridesmaids means I'm going to be categorizing my friends and essentially saying that some are closer to me than others. Part of it is the whole fear of rejection thing, and the idea that my friends will say "What? You think we're that close?". And part of it is just the transient nature of friendships-- the people I'm picking now are not all the ones I would have picked 2, or 4 years ago-- while I've managed to stay in touch deeecentllly with the ones form college and highschool, I do wonder if I will manage to keep in touch with them. I'm really awful at staying in contact, and I don't want anyone to feel like "why did I do this? Who is this bride chick?" in 20 years.
I know this isn't a big deal, really, in the grand scheme of things. But it's my wedding, damn it, and if I want to over-analyze things I will.
(also, I'd honestly be happy without bridesmaids, but we're having a relatively stereotypical wedding-- I don't want to be drowned in the tears of the guilt of our mothers. My parents will be sad enough when i finally break it to them that I don't like the idea of being "given away", and confused when they figure out we want part of Goodridge read.)