Today, I compared deciding whether to get an abortion to deciding whether to buy a couch.
And shockingly, no one was offended. I think. I hope.
But what it came out of was class discussion-- we were discussing the morality of abortion, and I mentioned that I have zero moral qualms about abortion, and zero moral qualms about not informing the man involved of the pregnancy/abortion. Although, remember, in my perfect world men would be able to sign off on all parental rights and obligations after a certain time period of learning about the pregnancy/child. But still, zero.
The professor then asked, well, in my current situation, since I'm engaged, what would I do? Would I discuss it with my partner.
Of course I would. To me, this situation is very different than if I were single, or we weren't serious about each other. But we're going to get married in a year. We're sharing a life together. As such, his opinions matter too, on all important decisions-- and I said that, just like I wouldn't go get a $1000 couch without talking to him, I wouldn't get an abortion without consulting him first. So, yeah, I compared abortion to buying a couch. Because they're both decisions with financial implications. Obviously, the decision about whether or not to have a child is worlds apart from whether or not to redecorate-- but my point about communication remains. I don't think a single woman has any obligation to tell the man about her abortion-- or even any obligation if she has the child, to tell him about it. I honestly think we put far too much emphasis, as a society, on genetic relationships as opposed to relationships of emotions and caring. I get that it's a biological imperative to spread your genes, but just because it shares some DNA with you doesn't mean you're going to be an awesome parent.
Whether or not to become a parent is something you really have to think about-- and if you have a partner, it's only fair that you include them too, since it will affect your lives together and not just you.