Wednesday, January 27, 2010

25

So, today I turn 25.
25! 25! 25!!!

That's so...
Old?
Young?
Terrifying?
Boring?
Cool?

I've been king of swinging around it all in the days leading up to today. I'm the kind of person who complains about ageism, and has women older than i am as my style icons, yet at the same time I'm freaking out that I'm at some made up "peak" of potential and that it's going to go all downhill from here, and that regardless of them, I'm going to end up hideous.

See? Even I think that's incredibly stupid and vain when I read it!

And I certainly don't think of my friends in their late 20s and early 30s as "old".

Part of me feels like I should be more... accomplished, or something. When I was a kid (so with no concept of how the world works), I always figured that by 25 I'd be married, with a kid, a house, tons of money, and a job as a doctor. So yeah, totally unrealistic. But I do have a lot of my shit together, I think... I'm engaged to my best friend, I'm in my last year of law school, I have established a great sense of self, I don't really care about money as long as I have a roof over my head, food and booze for my belly, and some cute clothing, and I'm generally happier than I've been in previous years.

But still.
25.
Man.

6 comments:

Joanna said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I'll be 25 in July. I'm not sure how I feel about it, either. But happy birthday nonetheless!

Elle said...

Happy birthday! And welcome to the quarter-life crisis ;)

Hehe I turned 25 last September and felt the same. Am still figuring life out. 25 is most certainly not old! Hope you have a fab birthday :D

schopenbecq said...

Why did you lie and claim that older women aren't sexually envious of younger females?

Amanda said...

Schopenbecq,

I genuinely don't think that older women are sexually envious of younger women. I'm really not sure what made you think that was relevant to this post, either.

schopenbecq said...

How is it possible to have intelligent dialogue when you blatantly lie?

You do know that older women are sexually envious of younger women. Every sane man and woman on earth knows that truth.

The fact that you make a post describing how you're terrified that you're turning hideous as your 25th approaches DOES confirm that you are aware of that fact and for you then to say that 'you don't see the relevance to this post'...well, what is the point?

Amanda said...

Schopenbecq,

You may have missed it, but this post is about me. Me. Not other women. Not older or younger women. Me.

It wasn't that I was terrified that I was turning hideous, it's about the fear that I've hit my peak. You only focused on the part about looks, but it was also discussing how, when I was younger, I always thought of 25 as some magical awesome age of adulthood, when everything would be the most awesome it ever could be. The reality isn't like that-- I'm happy, but I think I'm going to just keep getting happier. I'm just starting my life in a number of ways, and quiet frankly, when I'm not being paranoid about my birthday, I think I'm going to continue to look awesome for years to come.

But really, my post has nothing to do with other women, sexually or otherwise, and I truly do not think older women are sexually envious of younger women.

Why do you keep reading that idea into things? Why are you so obsessed with something that, really, seems to be a fallacy?