I tend to assume that most people over the age of 25 have had sex at least once. I assume that there's a larger proportion of virgins in different, more religious subcultures than the one I'm in. And it seems that I'm mostly right. I do tend to assume that people-- male and female-- who are virgins into their mid twenties are religious... which might be because the one guy I know who I know for sure is a virgin is religious. He's of the courtship rather than dating mindset, so he's pretty extreme in his views as far as things go. But... it's a choice. And for another guy who I knew in college, it was also a choice. I have no clue what his status is now, since, well, college was four years ago, but for him it was that he wanted it to be special and all that jazz.
What I'm more curious about is how many guys are virgins into their mid twenties against their choices-- either because they're in relationships with men or women who are determined to not have sex, or because they are too busy to date and against one night stands, or because they just keep. striking. out. I know that there are definitely guys like this out there-- the whole "forever alone" concept, and sad self-posts to reddit are enough to make most people who spend too much time know that. A quick google also found me two websites focusing on involuntary celibacy, which is apparently also called Incel, though they include people who have had sex in the past, but who are long term celibate anyway. But I'm curious about the guys who are still virgins, and why, and if it's not by choice, why it is that they've been unable to find a sex partner. I'd guess shyness, mostly, because in the age of online dating, even if you are what the majority of society considers sexually unappealing, there are people who like all sorts of appearances, and a partner could probably be found online, even if it would take a lot of effort. For some, I'd think it might have to do with behavior-- I can't imagine a straight man who is openly hateful and misogynistic having much success with women, for example, or someone who is so shy he doesn't actually talk to women or make clear his interest. And for some, of course, I'd assume it's because they dated a woman who didn't want to lose her virginity for a long time, and after the relationship ended, have been unsure how to proceed.
I've noticed online that there's an idea that male virginity is a huge turn-off to women, and something most women would run from. I actually have no clue how most of my friends feel about this, for a change, because it's just something that has not come up-- other issues get talked about, but i think meeting male virgins doesn't even cross the mind of most of my dating lady-friends. Hell, the last virgin I encountered was in college, and he was 21. Most guys-- 97% of them, once they hit 25-- have had some experience. But 3% is still a really large number, when you think about. Just look at your Facebook-- you probably have, like, 500 Facebook friends. 3% of that number is 15. Now think about all the dudes in the US who are over the age of 25. Statistically, its a small number, but it's also a HUGE number, so a ton of guys out there aren't having sex, either by choice or without choice. And think how many more guys have had sex with one person who they aren't sexing anymore and who aren't having sex now. An even huger number! As someone who thinks that sex is an important, healthy part of being an adult (unless you're asexual) this is just... boggling and disturbing and saddening. Though I hope most virginal guys aren't sad, I have to think a large portion of them probably are, especially because of the messages society says about guys who "can't get laid" being worth less than other men. It's the sort of thing that also makes me annoyed that we don't have safe, legal prostitution or sex surrogates in this country (and my thoughts on sex work are enough to fill up many other posts, but in short: I think prostitution should be legal, I don't think it's any worse for most people than sleeping around with non prostitutes, but I think the ways it often happens in the US are not good situations for sex workers. Legalize and regulate is my motto in this as in many other things). It can't help erase frustration at not having a relationship, and it's unlikely to help a lot of guys with any underlying issues that may be keeping them celibate by choice, but it's at least something.