Sunday, March 4, 2012

More on the Brights

After my previous posts on the Bright's sex column on Jezebel, I thought I'd stay away from talking about them-- but there was one quick thought I wanted to comment on, before moving on to new topics.

In their latest column, one of the writers wants advice because she's never had an orgasm, and doesn't really enjoy any aspect of sex except the performance aspect. Part of the Bright's advice is awesome-- quoting another author, they write: ""'People overvalue orgasm,' Larson told her. "They go looking for an orgasm instead of pleasure. Look for pleasure first; that will lead you to where you want to go.'"" That sentiment is great-- and I think, the best advice you can give someone in that situation-- just try for pleasure and do what you like. If you're looking to orgasm, trying for pleasure seems like a more reasonable way to get there then psyching yourself out over the orgasm itself.

The next bit, though, is a bit disappointing: "You find out what makes your heart race, what makes you euphoric, what makes you involuntarily wet- and the orgasm will simply show up, a nervous system response to a well-lubricated limbic system." That response makes me go a bit sad-faced. Sure, that's what it will take to get you to orgasm-- but saying that the orgasm will simply show up once you find your pleasure is simplifying things, and ignoring the fact that for many women, including those who know what gives them pleasure, it's just not that simple. I'm not saying that they shouldn't be giving the girl advice on how to get to an orgasm, since that's what she wants, but that by oversimplifying things, they might be setting her up to think that something is wrong with her, if it doesn't just show up like they say it will.

It was interesting that they did tackle lack of interest in sex-- it would be super interesting if they also take on women who lack libido, who dislike penetrative sex, or women who have sexual complications do to health concerns.

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