Even though JD and I aren't truly ready to get into planning our wedding yet, what with not yet knowing what state we'll be in or what jobs we'll be working, I've started poking around on wedding websites. And... it seems that most of them, at least, are aimed at brides. Plus, since my relationship status changed on facebook, I've been bombarded with a series of incredibly similar incredibly offensive ads for even more wedding planning sites.
They all seem to assume that grooms are not invested in their wedding. The sites and ads paint this picture of a lazy groom who doesn't care about anything, and who won't help the bride out in planning unless he's forced. I find that depiction to be just... insulting to men. As insulting as the Bridezilla depiction is to women. Sure, a guy may not care that much about centerpieces, or menus, or... whatever. But a chick might not care that much either! In my case, I think that while we do care about the look of things, neither of us are going to care too much about the aesthetics-- we just want to be married! But JD and I will be equal partners in the planning.
I just dislike the assumption that men will be lazy, careless, thoughtless, avoidant. It seems like so much of the pop culture idea of a marriage is two wildly unsuited for each other individuals, him reluctantly committing, and her gleefully committing more because she wants a wedding than because she wants to spend her life with him. It almost seems as if the ads and sites assume that, to some extent, we're all like that-- and it is just so. offensive. Why would anyone marry a man who doesn't want to spend his life with his partner? And why would anyone marry a woman who cares more about a dress and some flowers than she does her partner? And why oh why does gendered advertising have to be so blatant and insulting-- to both your market, and the ones they love?