But now, as much as I hate to admit it, one of my "new years resolutions" or whatever you want to call it-- includes wearing makeup. My goal is to, essentially, pretty myself up for school this semester. Put on some makeup, do my hair, make sure whatever I'm wearing isn't just a sweatshirt, and add some sort of accessory.
So why am I doing this?
A few reasons. It's a learning process for the working world. I actually kind of enjoy it. My usually awesome complexion has NOT been able to deal with the Boston winter this year.
I graduate law school in a few months. Ideally, that means someone will hire me, and I'll get a job to start a couple months after that. Part of being an adult and getting people to take you seriously seems to be looking the part-- and for a woman, it seems that in addition to a suit, I need some mascara and lip color. Is it sexist? Yes. That's obviously. But its the system, and it's people's unconscious perceptions. I feel a little guilty about playing into it, but I know that it will alter how people view me-- and as long as I don't go overboard, it will alter it favorable. I resent it, and I push against it internally... but at the end of the day, playing into that part of the system is a small price to pay in getting head. Yes, I'd argue that we should work on changing people's attitudes and the cultural messages we send about who to respect-- and I'd love to work on changing that. But if I want to have any effect in the world, I first have to be taken seriously. And sadly, even in law, I notice most of the powerful women are super put together.
So my issue is with the system that makeup plays into, but not the make up itself. Learning how to put it on, and making small adjustments to it each day is sort of interesting! I've learned my purpleypink eyeshadows make me look tired-- but the brown ones don't! And my god, there's eyebrow powder to hide my slight case of trichotillomania! And mascara! My eyes look awesome! Basically, I have fun with it, and I think it makes my face look a little bit better, actually. I look prettier. And I'm a vain enough creature to be pleased with the effect I see when I catch myself in the mirror, even outside the system.
Plus, the tinted moisturizer I'm using is actually kind of nice to my face. It's lighter and less greasy than the stuff I've been using, and it makes my complexion look more like what I'm used to-- and less like the dry, red mess that is Boston winter mocking me.
So yeah. I'm probably not going to wear it every day, but when I have class or a social event-- I think it might be here to stay. At least, as long as I don't hit snooze when the alarm goes off :-)